The World's Greatest

I recently was perusing my music collection, trying to figure out what I was missing. I got to the R's, and having just watched "Space Jam" a few days prior, realized that there was a gaping hole in my music collection where R. Kelly should be. R. Kelly, aside from creating some delicious jams like "I Believe I Can Fly," "Ignition (Remix)" and "That's That Sh*t (feat. Snoop Dogg)," is perhaps more notorious for being in a pornographic video that features him peeing on an underage girl. Yuck. To add insult to injury, the beginning of "That's That Sh*t" features a woman saying "the royal penis is clean your highness" followed by the sound of, you guessed it, a man peeing and R. Kelly saying "thank you." R. Kelly's first album after the whole underage sex thing came out was titled "Chocolate Factory." The list of miscues by R. Kelly is a long one, but his music seems to redeem him at least partially. From songs like "Ignition (Remix)" and "That's That Sh*t," which are great for getting people to really rock out and dance, to "I Believe I Can Fly" and the inspiration for today's post, "The World's Greatest," which are great motivational songs about empowerment and optimism. So you must be wondering, what recipe, using bacon, do I consider to be a mountain, a tall tree, and a swift wind sweeping the country? The answer is a hybrid sandwich that I created, called "The World's Greatest." It seems like a rather basic sandwich, which it is, but what makes it "The World's Greatest" is how it is constructed. There are also alot of small details that can make or break your sandwich.

2 pieces multigrain or wheat bread
Enough turkey for a sandwich, shaved
Enough cheddar cheese for a sandwich (swiss or american will work if you prefer)
Three slices of bacon (cook 4 or 5)
Miracle whip
French's mustard
Onion
Lettuce
Pickle

1. Begin with the bread. You can toast it if you like - I choose not to. Lightly layer one side of each piece of bread with some Miracle Whip. Make sure the whole piece is covered, but don't put too much - there should barely be any excess. Take one of the pieces of bread and put a small amount of French's on it.
2. Next is the turkey. If you can get it from your deli shaved, do it. It makes the turkey alot lighter, so you won't be biting into large chunks of it. If it's not shaved, it should be about 3 or 4 pieces depending on their size.
3. Next is the cheese. This might be the most important step of all. As any sandwich connoisseur knows, too much cheese can ruin a sandwich. This is especially true when there is bacon on the sandwich. The salt will be overwhelming. You want one layer of cheese - no overlapping. Cut the cheese so that it doesn't overlap. Then laugh because I just wrote "cut the cheese."
4. The onion comes next. Like the cheese, you don't want too much onion. Just a few small pieces to give the sandwich some crunch.

5. The BACON is next. Cook the bacon in the oven like this. Don't overlap the bacon either.
6. Throw some lettuce on the sandwich, cover with the other piece of bread. Cut the sandwich diagonally - if you don't, it won't hold together very well, and the bacon and onion will fall out. Serve with a pickle and a beer.

"The World's Greatest" can really be tweaked however you like, the important part is the details. When making sandwiches with bacon, there are those details to consider. Salt content, the sturdiness of the construction, etc. Until next time, have fun with your bacon.